Owned..By A Snaggletooth

Owned

I’m owned. Completely and utterly owned. By something that is less than 10lbs. Last weekend, we adopted a small, scruffy snaggletoothed puppy named Theo. His hair covers his eyes and he often finds himself falling over things as he has not yet mastered the basics of speed or agility. Still I am owned. 

It started the first night we had him home. This little whimpering, barking, crying baby that was thrust into our lives. It was every two hours that we would here the whimpering and the crying. We were the “cruel” parents who assigned him to his crate for the evening in an act of puppy rearing. 

It was about 3AM and my husband lopped his arm over to an empty spot that had been filled with our two other fur children (our cats) Max and Isa. Their approach was “Mom” was out of the bed, so it was up for grabs. He fumbled through the bedroom, down the stairs and looked around-still no sign of me. 

Finally he realized that the puppy had stopped crying, and walked into our room. And lo and behold, before his eyes was me holding a shaggy snaggletoothed puppy as he slept. Theo had claimed victory against his crate and me. Theo has now owned me. 

But when does one fall in love? When does one realize that this puppy owns them? Is it in their eyes? The moment we take him home? I’m not sure exactly when that moment occurred. I just know that he relies so much so on hearing my heartbeat that I let him sleep on me for two nights in a row.

In the week we have been Theo’s “parents”, we have realized a couple things. My husband is incredible with logic and observation. He quickly calms my fears and reasons things while I panic about anything—even the slightest snorkel in his voice. I learned I am a complete pushover and panicky mom to every sound. 

We are completely and utterly in love with a little snaggletoothed grin, our baby boy, Theo. Our first attempting at “parenting.”

Applesauce Brownies

Inspiration:
I LOVE chocolate. I LOVE brownies... but I am on WW. So these yummy pieces of heaven are only 1 pt. So that's a pretty good deal. I started making these in law school when I was initially trying WW. They were a hit, so I am continuing! Hope you like them just as much

Ingredients

A box of brownie mix

(Whatever brownie ingredients you have)

With the exception of OIL

Sub OIL with no sugar added apple sauce (should be non fat)

This is probably the easiest recipe ever. 

Use nonstick spray on a brownie pan of your choice

Mix the items according to the box ingredients, but sub out the oil for apple sauce. 

Bake according to the box

And boom! Healthier brownies to enjoy

If you want to top with a 0 PT cool whip, knock yourself out--better yet, add some fresh fruit when serving! 

Eggplant Rollantini-Skinny Style

Inspiration:
My inspiration for this is because I love all things Italian food. Unfortunately, that usually equates to carbs! So here you go--enjoy!

Ingredients:
1 whole egg plant sliced in circles
non stick spray
tomato sauce (1 jar)
1 8 oz (small package) of fat free (or whole milk if you are Adkins) Ricotta
1/2 a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese
Italian Seasoning

• Spray your casserole dish with non stick spray
• Spray your skillet or frying pan
• Fry the eggplant in nonstick spray with Italian Seasoning
• Coat the bottom of your casserole dish with tomato sauce
• Put eggplant that is fried on the casserole dish
• Scoop ricotta over the fried eggplant so it has a nice coating
• Spread shredded cheese to cover the ricotta
• Put tomato sauce over that. 
• Repeat process
• Bake on 350 for 20 minutes till cheese is melted!

If you're like me and want to serve this later in the week, refrigerate and cover. Briefly heat up to 350 for 10 minutes, and you're good to go. Enjoy!

Recipe Haven: A Skinny Girl Meatloaf!

So... my husband had a request for meatloaf. I am currently participating in WW, so I sought out a way to do the near impossible--please the husband but still stay within the WW requirement. So this recipe can be "skinnified" or it can be "chubbified" to your likening. Here's the recipe for a "Skinny Girl's Meatloaf"

Recipe

Ingredients:

1 package (a pound or so at least) of 94% of lean beef (turkey works too, but the husband likes beef)

2 eggs

1/4 cup of sliced and diced red onion

1tsp of Emril's Essence (original blend)

1tsp salt

A dash of season-all

1tsp pepper

1 celery stalk

1/2 cup of bread crumbs

top your meatloaf with tomato sauce, ketchup, or diced tomatoes (your choice--I opted for tomato sauce with a low sugar content)

• Whisk the egg and add your lean beef
• Add all other ingredients with the exception of tomato sauce
• This is the kinda gross part but necessary--clean those hands and mush in your hands!
• Put them into a bread loaf pan but first Spray with nonstick spray!
• Just before you pop it in the oven put the tomato sauce, ketchup, or diced tomatoes. 
• Heat your oven up to 350 degrees
• Bake 45-50 minutes until meat is cooked. 

And there's your skinny girl meatloaf dinner. If you're like me and you're on the run--select a day of the week to cook the entire thing. That way when you get home, pop it in the oven (or microwave) for a couple minutes, and you have a dinner to go!

Mush! Mush!

Sorry... with all of this snow I am left thinking of huskies running in the snow.. MUSH! So, here's another goody, low carb, and healthy recipe...

Stuffed Mushrooms

Ingredients:
1 Bag of Spinach (you need a lot....)
Portabella Mushrooms (4-8--one or 1.5 usually per person)
1 cup of parmesan cheese
1 cup of fat free mozzarella cheese
2 tsp of butter substitute (think: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter or Olive Oil or Smart Balance)
 8 oz water for the spinach!
Garlic to your likening, I am probably at 2 cloves


Let's get this show started!
Butter up a frying pan and add your spinach
Cook on a medium flame
Your spinach will start to wilt, so spritz with the water as mentioned above
Start also adding the garlic and mixing it around, constantly keep moving the spinach around!
Add Parmesan cheese and continue the above. 

... When the spinach is pretty docile (i.e. dead in a pan and a bright green color)...  STOP

Meanwhile... in another pot...
Clean your portabellas out!
Remove stems
Boil in a pot until your mushrooms are softer and the water is turning mushroom brown
Use a strainer to drain the excess water.
Let cool...


On your cookie sheet.... 
Spray with PAM or some sort of anti-stick device to your likening
Place the cooled portabellas on the pan
Insert the cooked spinach into each mushroom
Use the shredded cheese over each mushroom.

Cook on 350 for 15 minutes until cheese is melted... 

**Serve and Enjoy**

Start Me Up Egg Plant Pizzas!

So, I had a rather long hiatus from the blogsphere. I recently became an attorney (HORRAY) and started a new job, so time was not necessarily there. 

Also, there will be a new blog featuring rogue and off color stories of awesome women coming soon!

This blog will be a universe of recipes, healthy living, and random things I try. "Rogue Lady" Blog will likely be a more connected universe of witty thoughts. 


So... without further delay... 

Eggplant Pizzas 

Eggplant Pizzas

I am a huge fan of pizza, and most things Italian--hey, I'm from JERSEY! So, these little slices of heaven make it just a bit more carb friendly... it's not entirely the same, but good for a quick fix :p

Ingredients:

1 Large Purple Eggplant (Slice into circles)

1/2 a bag of Fat Free Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese (shredded)

2 Tsp Olive oil (for brushing)

Tomato sauce 

Italian Seasoning

Garlic

Start me up!

• So, first you must slice your egg plant into circles--you likely will have varying thickness to your desire. I tend to go for the medium thickness. You can have super thick but then it will cook longer.  Too thin will just be too soggy... 
• Lightly brush olive oil on the slices and place on a metal cookie sheet
• To your likening, season with Italian Seasoning (Oregano or Italian seasoning) and Garlic on the pieces.
• Spoon about one teaspoon on each egg plant of tomato sauce
• Douse with cheese to cover each circle (parmesan if you want an extra cheesy experience). 
• Pop in the Oven on 350 for about 10 minutes or until golden brown edges and melted cheese!
• Let them cool, and ready to serve. 

These bad boys freeze well and refrigerate well-so if you drain the egg plant juice, you can enjoy these for up to a week! 

Paleo... Paleo

Paleo… Paleo. I’ll admit when I first heard of this months ago I thought it was somewhat musical. It did not sound as much of a diet to me than it did a dance or game. Then came the cerebral approach of looking at it—paleo was a time in history… the paleolitihic era. It’s when the first known “modern” humans emerged—the “cave people.” Now what—would a diet—have to do with cave people?!

I began paleo fearing it as a death sentence. The years of carb indulgence of breads, pastas, and sweets seemed to hover over me as I begrudgingly looked at my trainers face. I wanted to lose weight, however, I really was reluctant to give up everything I loved.

Several months prior I began on a mission to drive out most of the artificial sugars I take in. I made the switch from “Splenda” to natural “stevia” due to health reasons with a first lineal relative that made me just as susceptible. I started to note dietary changes also—I frequently felt bloated, sick, tired, and also had the beginning—beg my TMI—IBS issues. I am nearing 30—and I was not about to chalk it all up to being old age. I wasn’t even 30!

Rather than accept the “aging”—I sought to change it. I’m week one into paleo—and I intend to document it, and my experience through this blog (also with recipes). Hey, it may work; it may not—but let’s watch it togethers.

 

The Basics…

Plain and simple: Pretend you’re a caveman/cavewoman and whatever they have you have—whatever they do not have you do not have. So—refined grains? Yeah, they did not have that due to agriculture not being apart of their hunter and gatherer society. Protein powder? No bueno. Beans? Eh… Cheese and dairy? Yeah, let’s see you try to milk a wild bison…

 

You get the idea? Meats—yes; veggies—Yes; fruits—yes; dairy—NO!; grains? BIG NO; and legumes; Nopers.

 

So, of course, I am already looking for ways to cheat! There are certain flour like wannabes you can use and sweetners that are natural. Here are my recommendations: arrowroot; coconut flower; raw coconut; almond meal/flour. Sweetners? Stevia, honey, coconut oil. AMAZING—right there.

My Cheat Sheet?

This week—JAM and LEMON BLUEBERRY MUSH!

Jam

My non-caveman co-workers and family appreciated this lovely concoction, and could hardly believe that there was NO sugar in my jam. It was delicious, and hopefully you think so too:

2Tsp Chia

2Tsp Honey (Raw)

3 cups fruit (blueberry, strawberry, raspberry, etc)

·         Put in blender and mush.

·         Pour into jars and refrigerate overnight

·         The chia seeds will cause it to thicken to jam.

·         It’s awesome and has no preservatives so REFRIGERATE!

 

Lemon Blueberry Bar Mush

Pot 1:

Mix the following in a sauce pan:

3 eggs

2 Tsp coconut oil

2 Tsp Lemon zest

2 Tsp honey (raw)

*Heat and mix over a low flame.

*Slowly add in 1 Tsp at a time 6 times coconut oil; continue to stir

*Pour half a cup of lemon juice into pain, continue to spin until thick and not lumpy.

 

Pot 2:

In a mixing bowl; mix the following:

1 ½ c almond meal

½ tsp sea salt

2 BIG TBSP of coconut oil, melted

2 Tsp honey

2 Tsp vanilla

(or in my case, cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg)

Mix!

Grease a casserole pan with coconut oil that is melted. Pour mixture

Heat oven at 350 degrees, and bake for 15 minutes.

 

Take out and pour lemon mush on top. Add blueberries and put in fridge for an hour. Boom! It’s yummy.

 

So here’s my weekly paleo! Check in next week J.